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| Today was a picnic. I was upset at first because it was too cool to swim, but it was actually a lot of fun. Mike came after work. we were outside pretty much the whole time, I love it there because my uncle's backyard is huge and full of natureness.
other than that life has been decent. I've started working out and even got some weights, a yoga mat, an exercise ball, and a bunch of tapes. I feel good. I've also become a vegetarian again. it just feels better. ever since the first time I always feel a bit of guilt when I eat meat, and it just feels better (in a few ways) when I don't.
I'm very happy lately, and by the time I've reached what I want to look like my hair will probably be long enough to do the haircut I found recently. and who knows, maybe by then I'll pierce my nose too.
yeah, life is good. so I'm just going to try to enjoy life for the next few weeks as best I can, and then just take life one day at a time and keep my head up.
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| Today is June 1st. its insane how fast the year is going. in just 9 days it will be me and mike's 5months! that' one month away from half a year! last night we had mike's mom over for dinner. that was fun, especially the baby bird that got stuck on our porch. lol my dad chased it for a few minutes trying ot pick t up but it hopped away every time. so I tried and it went right into my hands... the the cute little bugger wouldn't get out! haha I tried to put him on the bird bah but he just closed his eyes like "nah, I think I'll take a nap now" and only got off when my mum tried to get a close up pic of him. he was so cute :)
anyway... off to do my makeup and then school :P
<3
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| tonight I thought a lot about the two most important people to me (besides family)... and things I hope they know.
The first is my best friend. she's been my best friend since 10th grade. we used to be inseparable, but with the whole distance thing that's kinda hard now. I miss her so much that sometimes I seriously cry. when she does come home its usually for a holiday and I end up having plans with my family and mike's family adn I'm super busy. I feel like she thinks I don't want to see her and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I cant wait until she can come home for n reason and we can just hang out and have fun like we used to. do nothing, talk crap, share secrets, bake, stay up all night, wander around in fields scaring the crap out of ourselves, and of course beach trips. I miss my best friend, and no one could ever replace her. no matter how old we get or how far away we move.
The second is my boyfriend. we're going on 5months now... I couldn't be happier. he's better to me than anyone I've met. better yet, he knows how my mind works 90% of the time and handles me pretty well. he still has a few sides he hasnt experienced, but that's a good thing. he brings out the best in me, and mabe he won't ever see those sides, or at least not directed towards him? only time will tell. he's so understanding (which is why he may never see those sides, he calms me down long before I get to that point). he treats me like a princess. and I trust him... well as much as I can trust a person. I just... he makes me feel so happy. secure. whole.
witohut thest two people my life would pretty much suck....
oh, and Eli. he's my everything 
and speaking of people I miss, this summer is so far lacking some bs :(
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| hey you, I love you! I am so happy you found someone who treats you like you deserve.
hey you, I forgave you... but I have not forgotten. I could never trust you again. I am happy you found someone to love and that your life is going well.
hey you, sometimes I still think about you, I hope you're doing well. I could ask but it's over and talking now would just be awkward.
hey you, lately I miss you like crazy. sometimes I think about messaging you and seeing if we can get together sometime you're home. but I'm afraid that would be awkward and that would hurt me too much.
hey you, you are gone. never to be on here again. I am glad you are gone. I am glad the way things worked out. I'm glad she knows. I'm sorry I ever did it. I'm sorry I wasted my time on you. I'm sorry I gave you such a big head because you are nothing special. I wish she'd see that... mostly, I am hurt and angry at the last month or some of our "friendship." I don't hate many people but I hate you.
hey you, I miss you. things aren't the same most of the time... I guess that's how life goes. you'll always be my bestest friend. I'll always be here for you and hope you will be too.
hey you, I'm glad we found each other. I don't want to lose you. you feel so different. you treat me so different. you make me feel happier than I've been in a long time.one of my biggest fears is pushing you away... I know I can be hard to love, but please don't give up on me if I become a lot to handle. you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
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